It’s too early in the morning for a blog update, but I figured I needed to let my frustration out.
When my relationship ended, there were so many questions in my head – mainly why did it have to end. Then I realized it wasn’t him or me that ended it. It was the will of God that saved me from a possibly disastrous relationship. Sure, tears kept rolling down my cheeks and for weeks I kept to myself, holding up strong only when I went out with my friends. Now, my conscious has showed me why it couldn’t work.
We were just too different on so many pages. One of those pages is politics. I’m a student of politics. He shies away from ever talking about politics. Whenever I let out my opinions on Obama, or the local government not doing anything about foreign talent/labour, he would simply curtly smile and nod his head. I could never get an opinion out of him without erupting into a heated argument.
Last night, I watched the US presidential debate between Obama and Romney. I wanted to discuss it so badly with someone, only to resort to twitter and my colleagues for some opinions. The sudden need for an intellectual debate or conversation brought me to realize that I need a man who could tell me what he thinks of a given issue. I cannot be with an Always Yes Man. I need a man who would fight for a cause.
Inasmuch as a man who is pious is luring, I cannot demand a spouse like that when I myself am struggling with my faith. I understand that God has willed for me a man who is compatible and completes me, both emotionally and in my faith. For now, I would be contented with someone who thinks like me, someone who is always a page ahead of me and helping me to catch up.
I won’t go looking for him, but I know he’s out there waiting for the right time to approach me. I need to have patience, and keep myself occupied mentally and physically. I can always rely on Him to keep myself in check emotionally.